For some reason today I was reflecting on where I was this time a year ago. What was I doing? How was I feeling? It was then that I realized how depressed I was. I was approaching the six month of hormone treatment and I still didn’t have a regular cycle and I wasn’t pregnant. I was entertaining the idea of more aggressive fertility treatments. I remembered the frustration of negative ovulation tests and pass day 160 of my cycle. I remember putting on a show. Faking the smiling and reassuring friends and family that I was alright. All the while breaking down in the bath or while biking. Looking back, I probably should have sought help.

I lost my faith. I lost my hope. I was angry. I just came across this scripture verse today. Maybe I read it on Facebook and it triggered my reflection.

Samuel 1:27 ” I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him.”

One year later these words could not describe my bliss any more. I would have prayed to the devil had it brought me Nolan. Nolan brought me out of the darkness. Nolan wasn’t supposed to happen without intervention. Could it be that God really answered my prayers?

I have never been more blissfully happy with my life than I am right now. My joy lies across my lap vigorously sucking his paci.

Maybe Samuel 1:27 is that one scripture verse that calls to me?

neuteach  |   June 1, 2011  7:16 pm   | View comments